Thursday, December 29, 2011

Perfect Slumber by Jhonathan Tapia

I'm about to die for you, I'm getting worse every minute. You provoke a burning rage that consumes me. It takes my life away...
            What am I supposed to do, with someone that makes me feel like that? Is it possible to love in this situation? It seems I am blindfolded, that white misty fog that prevents me to see what's really happening. But yet, that dangerous and beautiful mist, takes me away to a forest, the forest, of love.
            Is this a lie? If it is, this is my beautiful lie, you're my beautiful lie. I cannot see through these obstacles. I can't find my way out of this forest, of this labyrinth. A million ways to take but none are the right path to choose.
            I lie there hopeless, waiting for you to give me a sign on how to get out of here. In front of a tree, that seems to be giving life to this forest. It feels like days have passed and I'm still lying there, waiting. At last I hear something in this awful silence, it was the sound of multiple voices leading to yours.
            Happiness pulsed through my heart and hope through my veins. But yet again, this was another obstacle. How was I going to be able to tell what you were saying, when you were lost as well between those voices?
            I got up, confused, as if your voice told me to. Walking, until I reached a gap, a huge hole in the ground, that separated my world from yours. At the far end of horizon I saw a light, this time I heard your voice, your voice only, it said: "That light that you see is the exit, but the end of it all". I was certain that I needed to follow your request. But how I was going to reach the other side?
            I knew this was the only chance to reunite with you. As I stood, motionless, I thought: "What if this is yet another obstacle? Why if you love me, you put me through all of this?
   The only path I had was the horizon itself. I started walking the never-ending road, with all of my senses blocked. I couldn't see, there was nothing near to touch but the ground itself, I could not taste or smell. I relied in only one thing, your voice.
            A long journey lied ahead of me, I did not give up, and I kept going. After a while, it felt like I walked a thousand miles, with nothing on my head until sudden flashes came on to me and I realized they were memories. This memories projected on my mind, in a brief second that seemed to last a lot. It was me, escorting you to my car, holding hands, but that vision changed from that beautiful stage to a bloodier one where you and I were on the floor, and suffering. What was this? Were you trying to give me another sign?
            I wasn’t sure if you were trying to confuse me or help me. You gave me so many hints on how I could get out of there, but it was impossible for me. Then, I started to realize that this alternate place had to mean something, does it? More of the bloody scene came on to me, this time clearer than ever. I remember now. We had a car accident a few days ago and somehow I was wandering in my sleep. I figured out that I was between the lines of life and death in that moment. The sound of my heart brought me to life again, I slowly opened my eyes, squinting, I saw you my beloved. That was the nicest thing that could ever happen to me, you smiled, a sudden beep came out of the machines, and I knew what was happening so I held your hand and a black curtain covered my eyes. As I said, it took my life away, far away from what I loved the most, you…

Bloodlust by Jhonathan Tapia

            I don’t know exactly what’s happening to me, but I feel exhausted. After finding the emergency raft in the plane and got on it without thinking, I’m just laying somewhere, unable to open my eyes, overseas I think. I can hear the water splashing near, as well as the wind blowing at high speed… Another thing I can feel is my stomach contracting, twisting, a vortex of acid wanting to come out of me. That was my alarm clock today, me vomiting my guts out on the ocean. I squinted eagerly below the scorching sun to see my surroundings…shore.
            As soon as I get there, I fall hard, face-first on the medium wet sand. I heard the muffled thump, but didn’t flinch; maybe it was shock or something.
            “Mother, what’s wrong with the lady?” an innocent voice said preoccupied.
            A sort screech came after that, my head wanted to explode.
            “Call the lifeguard, somebody!” the mother screamed.
            I tried to stand, but that high-pitched sound was still in my head, burning every single brain cell I had left. I saw how the mother knelt and started talking, I heard nothing. I only saw her lips move. I simply closed my eyes, stood up and started walking to God knows where. I thought I could escape the sound. Both mother and daughter started following me, I could feel them close…
Feel them…close? I haven’t opened my eyes yet. How can I detect someone is following me, when I can’t hear or see?
I opened my eyes and saw a huge crowd ahead of me. Of all places, why did I land on a crowded beach? The mother came to me and said something about a doctor and how I will get better. Reading lip’s not as easy as it seems. Why does everyone look surprised, sort of scared?
I saw a man in green coming; I guess that’s the doctor. He came really close to me and started touching my arms, neck and asking if I could feel any of that, if it hurt. I stared blankly at him.
“I’m gonna take her to the clinic, I need you two to come with me as friends of her or family, just to not ignore protocol, I can’t take her alone to the hospital.”
As far as I can recall, he talks too much. I mean, he’s mouth won’t stop moving. Sooner after, they helped me get in the van and injected me with some kind of relaxant I suppose.

I woke up on a bed, surrounded by monitors and hospital stuff, a pulse oximeter on and the doctor quite near.
“You’re awake. I’m Doctor Smith… can you see me well, no dizziness? ” he said in a far-too-calmed voice.
“Yes… I can see you” I said and felt awkward by those words.
The mother and daughter came in with happy faces. The little girl carried flowers on a pot. Lilies.
“She insisted on bringing you flowers, I hope you don’t mind” the mother said shyly.
“Nn…no, not…at all” I seemed to be struggling with my words.
Dr. Smith took them outside to finish with whatever I had and stood in front of me, taking all the cables I had in me. Such exaggerated matters, I felt perfectly fine.
I didn’t understand what the commotion was about. In fact, I could barely understand anything, anybody. This time all I heard was the beating of something.
            “Ma’am, may I please ask you what your name is?” the doctor asked.
            “Mm…ar…jo…rie” it came out, but I didn’t hear anything but the beating. “Marjorie Kaifer” I thought I repeated.
            That sound was very familiar, like a hammer hitting multiple times on cloth. I couldn’t help but to look at the doctor’s face, then his neck. I swear I saw his jugular pump, rippling slowly, slithering like a snake… It looked…appetizing.
            I threw myself at him, grasping his waist with my feet and a side of his neck with one of my hands. I couldn’t help myself but to lick where it pulsed. What was happening? I couldn’t control myself. It made me crazy, that sound. I wished it would stop, but at the same time didn’t. I clasped myself; he was struggling to get me off him for a while until I looked at his eyes. I thought of tasting him, like he was some sort of candy bar. He didn’t fight it anymore. Soon after that it was more than a lick, a lustful sensation of the beating.
            I bit him hard on his neck. I saw and felt how his blood came spraying and pouring out of him. I was lost in the delicious metallic taste; it felt so warm down my throat. I couldn’t stop, he collapsed begging for mercy; that made me even more drawn to finish my meal…
            My meal?!
That’s when I knew something was something was wrong with me…

Near the End by Jhonathan Tapia

I remember the first time. The first time I knew something was wrong with me. Trying my best to forget about it, but still, those were the times when it stressed the most. Living a normal life wasn't something I could put on my list. I just...dealt with it. It all started on the fifteen of November, 2009.
I woke up that morning a different way, I wasn't myself; crying over nothing, depressed, lonesome. It was a time of confusion and anger. I cried because I had family problems. I was sick of being treated like a child, among other problems that is. It was the beginning of a bigger responsibility not anyone could imagine.
I ran away, away from my problems. I didn't face any of them. They were a lot of repressed feelings in me, I was disgusted with myself and everybody else. At that moment, you called. You told me that it was time to take the first step of evolution.
It has been two months now since that event occurred. I was desperate and bleeding, bleeding from that wound deep in my heart. From there, I started to change my way of living, my way of being. Everything was brand new, a new me.
You see, if it wasn't for you I'd be stuck the way I was. I'm happy now, with this change. I've gained confidence and experience throughout it. I'll never forget your words, your voice so unfamiliar when it said "Go on, you have a long journey ahead of you, a life so full of excitements waiting to be discovered.” I trusted you, as if I knew you all along.
From that moment on, I relied on you. I loved the way you spoke, the way you faced everything with simplicity. As if I knew you. I decided to look for you on that "journey". Everything was so easy when you helped, but I had to learn to deal problems by myself too and you didn't let me. This is just a little piece of my life that nobody knew, my hidden treasure...

I’ve been waiting for “this change” for quite some time now. February came, my skin was getting paler, my hair was changing its color, all sorts of changes and I didn’t know what was going on with me... Was it some kind of decease? It wasn’t normal because I’ve looked in every kind of data base for information, Med books, everything.
“It’s... Time” you said, this time you were in pain. I could tell by the sound of your voice.
I was preparing myself for the worse because I knew there was something bad happening with you.
Enraged with all of the repressed feelings inside me, I raised my hand as soon as I heard you in such pain and something happened, something that normally wouldn’t happen outside. I heard screaming this time, some rumbling, cracking... What the hell is happening outside? What’s happening to me?
Suddenly, I felt a gut-aching pain; I could not compare this to any known illness. I screamed. This time, everything in my room fell and broke; a huge explosion came out of that scream. I couldn’t control myself, even though somehow I was the

Eternal by Jhonathan Tapia

In the verge of nothingness.
Where nobody suspects,
Where nobody cares.
What do you expect to find?
Radiant gardens,
The bluest sky,
Or maybe Gaia?
Well, you find a piece of the goddess herself.

I don’t even know why I’m lying here,
Watching nothing above me.
To my sides, wastelands, dark ones.
Up front, to the edge of this, a hole.
A dark abyss, paned pillars.
Individual structures meant to be jumped.
But, why would I even try to reach…
Why would I try to go to the other side,
If you’re not here with me?

I thought, maybe that’s the reason, you.

I look forward and I can barely see anything.
Just the pillars.
I jumped each with precaution.
It was useless.
They were fragile and falling.
I run and jump the highest.
I can’t stop now.

I’m tired and you were my last thought.
Now I can’t get you off my mind.
As I’m running, jumping,
Your sweet face comes up.
You’re my mirage on this wasteland.

Now I’m struggling.
Can you keep me alive?
I see something, someone…
It is far, but I can get there.
I reaching…
I know that face.
Can it be possible?

I reach, my eyes are burning.
This can’t be happening.
I think the illusion is stronger now.
I no longer see a translucent thought of you,
I see you in detail…
I grasp to the feeling that you may be real.
And I kiss you,
I hold you,
Your face.
I look at your eyes,
Sorrowful, grieving.
I asked, you didn’t answer.

On that moment the earth moves.
Every thought of happiness crumbled.
We have to start moving.
I expected you to react,
To scream.
At least I thought you would give me a sign.

You raised your hand and pointed forward.
I grab your hand as hard as I could.
I won’t let you go now…

We are running.
I have everything I ever wanted.
If we die, we die together,
But we would die, trying.

“I love you”

I heard it.
Or did I imagine it?
I couldn’t tell,
I couldn’t lose concentration.
I made an effort to look at you.
You didn’t look at me back.

I see splendor,
I see glow.
A light that will surely kill us.
It’s getting closer,
Closer and closer.
We reach,
I let go of you.

I admire every single thing on this space.
The glowing tree, it blinded me.
The garden, impossible.
How could nothingness create such beauty?
I turn my gaze to you.
And you weren’t there.
I returned my gaze to where I had it,
In hopes to see you near…
Everything was burning.
The flames, overwhelming.
I lost…
The earth shattered.
I’m falling.
Flaming particles brush my face.
They burn me.
But it did not hurt because…
The last thought I had was of you.

Desolate by Jhonathan Tapia

I must be in the middle of the ocean by this time. Thinking. Thinking about reasons, possibilities and answers. Hopeless and desperate on a raft made of some sort of coconut palm wood I found at the crash site. Yes, I was there the moment when it ocurred... The crash!
I recall that moment too well, I guess. So many visions about a plane, but none of getting in it. It is so strange to not have any memories of myself; the only thing I remembered was my name. I've been here a lot of time, I can feel it. The only thing that came to mind was "Does anyone know I'm here?", "Where are the other passengers?"
Every memory's coming back little by little. I remember everybody around me, screaming, cletching their hands to the nearest seat, praying... Suddenly, it all turns out black to me. An awful memory that is, but it was the only thing that I could remember about myself, about who I was.
As I said previously, I feel I've been a lot of time on this island. When that blackout came, was I unconscious? I remember getting up from the sand, every part of my body covered in it. The plane was a couple of yards away from me, charred up almost completely. It seemed the passengers were all on a work trip, they were a lot of papers and documents on the ground.
My instinctive feelings were kicking in. I had to eat, survive. There is nothing on this island, not any kind of living thing. I was losing it. Desolate, the first word that popped into my head, it was the name I chose to put to the island.
Finally, when I decided to move, realizing there were bumps on the ground. A 182 bumps to be exact, a 182 bodies scattered near "the landing site". As I started to look for answers, I found a sheet of paper. May 23, 2008, along with a note that said "This is a sign", it was ripped into five pieces.
I survived. I ate nothing for a long period of time, until my body couldn't hold it anymore. The most interesting thing of it all was, that I relied on that simple note I found five pieces of. Was it really a sign? I could not tell yet. By this moment I had lost it.
To make this story short, how could anyone know the exact number of the corpses on the island? Simple. I ate them, one by one. The note was a draft one of my co-workers tried to make for some kind of project, I guess. Then, I remembered I was on my way to vacation when it ocurred... The crash!
The sum of the date and the pieces of paper, made the "the long period of time" I was stranded. See?, May's 5, plus 23, plus 8, resulted as 36. Five pieces of paper. So, 36 and 5... My imagination stated that from the union of these two numbers, it made a whole year (365 days stranded). I was wrong...
I ate one body each day until I had to eat a kid, a kid that made half of the ration I ate daily. So, technically I ate 181.5 bodies during that "long period of time". I lasted on "Desolate" six months, a half year. If you find this, I should be dead by now in the middle of the ocean...

-David Young